Monday, 9 April 2018

A fews days back :-)

You know that feeling. You have been in the office for 3 hours after holidays and you wonder were you away at all! Both M and I had it last week.

We were both once again back to working long hours against tight deadlines. I had caught a cold skiing so it was a real struggle. I infected M during the week and she is now down with sore throat and all the usual symptoms.

That said, the weather this weekend was great and we barbequed both evenings. The first evening was with M's family. Wow, did she boss me around. On four occasions I was sent to fetch something and bring it back to her. And another time she demanded my mobile phone as I was using it because she wanted to surf for something. He brother actually laughed. Naturally I complied immediately.

I felt a bit self-conscious  as I sat there in a female T shirt and shorts with my blue sleeveless jacket. At one stage I could feel the strap of my pink bra slipping down over my shoulder and I just hoped it did not fall below the end of the sleeve. It didn't and I managed to adjust it after a while without anyone noticing.

I should have got 6 spanks on Friday as I was 8.5 hours over my contract in the 4 days last week so that ate up all my credit and left me 3 hours over. But with M being ill, she has saved them up to be added to next Fridays lot.

I am away on a foreign business trip next week for 4 days. It will coincide with M's periods and she told me tonight that I can forget about wearing normal underwear when I am away. I will be wearing the strings! Not exactly ideal for an airplane and long days in a conference, but as M likes to remind me often....the rules are the rules.


Wednesday, 28 March 2018

A few days away.

M and I are on a short break before Easter. So, it seems, are half of Germany, judging by the amount of traffic on the roads last weekend. We required 70% more travel time than the Sat Nav had first announced!

M had a new surprise for me before we left for the trip. She told me that the clothes and other things that she wanted to bring on the trip were lying on her bed. She told me to go upstairs and pack them!
When we got to our destination, naturally my job was also to unpack and put her clothes in the wardrobe and her toiletries in the bathroom.

I have been skiing in the mornings. M has limited interest in skiing, partaking occasionally. As the snow softens up quickly in the afternoon, I don't bother skiing past 2pm. Instead we have cycled a couple of afternoons.

M loves the feeling of "remote control", so when I go skiing she insists that I wear a sports bra and a female base layer. She says I can think of her whenever I become aware of them and maybe I will also ski more carefully. The first is true, the second not!

This afternoon, we went on a city trip, sadly spoiled by heavy rain, not previously forecasted. For the first time, M had me wear shiny trousers, that she bought for me some time ago. I was self-conscious the whole time. Naturally all the other clothes, apart from my shoes, were female too, albeit close enough almost to pass. This included the female knitted hoody that she bought on our surprise shopping trip. At least it covered up the t-shirt which is also an M purchase. On it, in shiny silver letters is Be Different spelled backwards!! However, such little advantages matter little when one is wearing shiny trousers!

We ate in a restaurant tonight. Thankfully it was almost empty when we entered and we got a place in the corner of the room. Unfortunately, as we were leaving it was already quite full and I had to run the gauntlet of the entire room to the exit. I did not make eye contact with anyone but felt a thousand eyes looking in my direction as I passed. Probably my overactive imagination, but nevertheless it was a very uncomfortable feeling for me. My ski tan hopefully hid my blushing cheeks!


Monday, 26 March 2018

Making her addicted

Hanna has an easy key to make my life with her very easy. She has to be really horny and desperate. Then she does everything for me and she has the right attitude. Very important is no real orgasms but instead getting her erect as often as possible. I programmed her, that touching her nipples gets her erect. When she is horny, this only needs 15 seconds and she is "ready".

The key to this behaviour is orgasm denial. She gets free orgasms twice a year. One in December and one in June/July. Everything in between is my decision.

We are on holidays now. Usually she might get one more in between, that means end of March would be the time. But maybe she will get only a ruined orgasm. This lets her come back more quickly - usually after 5 days she is completely back. After a real orgasm she needs nearly 3 weeks to be really back. These days are always very annoying because she complains too much. For example: she gets low credits on our point/money system. Then she says "but I did this, and I did that". I just say "Bullshit!" You didnt have the right attitude at all. And I still had to do so many things, that you didnt see.

So restricting her orgasms puts her in  "hunting mode". This makes it so easy to control her. I can't say it enough. This is the key to a happy relationship.


Wednesday, 21 March 2018

It's like a drug

I often tell M that I am addicted to her. It is the truth. I guess I am also addicted to FLR. In large part my last long term relationship broke down after I had tried to introduce it more than once. It never seemed to fit and we always reverted back to vanilla after a short period.

With M, it has been different. Her previous partner often complained that she was way too bossy. So taking charge from the start was natural for her. We had a long distance relationship for quite a while before I emigrated to be with her full time. I now live in her house.

I am dependent on her to navigate all the German bureaucracy that I need to interact with. She does all the "brainy" things now and I do the manual tasks. In my previous relationship, I did all the things that M does for me now. All of this leads to a natural power exchange.

As we have written before, M drafted a contract which I signed on my second day in Germany. She brought me to a secluded place by a lake, and asked me was I serious about signing it. She explained that it was a one way street and that there was no going back. From then on, she would make all the important decisions about my life and would have the last say on everything.

I told her I wanted to sign. So she told me, there and then, to strip completely naked and to sign the contract with no clothes on to signify that any rights I got in future would come from her. There were people about 400 metres away, further along the bank, but I had some tree cover. It was still a very risky and embarrassing situation, but I did it. After making me wait a minute or two to emphasize my new helplessness, she allowed me to dress, and we packed up and went home.

After my hesitation yesterday in complying with M's rule that I dress female at home in the evenings, I made sure to do it without prompting tonight.

Tuesday, 20 March 2018


Hanna was late home again today. Another long working day. After our dinner she sat there and took her phone to surf. I didn't see it immediately, because I went upstairs.

After coming down, I noticed it. I said to her that this was against our rules. I sent her upstairs to change into women's clothes.

She protested. I said "es ist mir scheissegal"(I could not give a s**t). Change and don't complain. Its not my fault, that you came home so late. And don't ever complain! Be obedient and do it as fast as you can.

She went and changed into her black knitted dress. Her money earned today will be very small after this mistake. Attitude is everything. She will never understand it.


Friday, 16 March 2018

Friday spanking again. "Hoch dein Rock und hol den Stock."

Hoch die Haende...Wochenende. So sagen Menschen hier Freitag nachmittags. Aber fuer mich wuerde man besser sagen... Hoch  dein Rock und hol den Stock.

Germans love their weekends. Hoch die Haende ...Wochende translates directly to "hands up, it's the weekend". In English we simply say TGIF !

For me however, it would be more apt to say, raise your skirt and fetch the stick (or wooden spoon in  my case). Work hours were again a disaster. I worked 9 hours over my  (40 hour) contract this week.
18 blows with the wooden spoon awaited me tonight.

M had mislaid a hat she uses for cycling and she offered me a 3 blow reduction if I found it. I searched for one hour but no success. She was kind and gave me a 2 blow remission in any case for my efforts.

M was tired and not in the mood to punish me. I told her not to bother, greatly relieved that I might get a last minute reprieve, like a man suddenly freed from prison. However, she said that strictness was necessary and important. Schade!

My rear end is still bruised from last week's beating. Those 30 blows had hurt so much. The small red mark below was from a "playful" blow she gave me through my clothes before we even started! That says it all about the pain level. It is unreal.

As I related in my last post, M had warned me not to miss the social event on Thursday. I was a couple of minutes late but I did not miss it, so at least this week there would be no "extra hard" blows to endure. That said, I knew how much it would hurt.

My normal punishment underwear was in the washing machine so M told me to put on a string instead. Having tied me securely so that I could not move, she pulled up my dress and pulled down my tights and started.

After 2 blows I was already begging for a pause. The pain of continuous blows is unbearable. So after each blow or two, with me pleading for more time, she would pause for maybe 10 seconds and then resume.

It seemed to last forever and again I was sweating profusely by the end. I was very happy that it was not 30 like last week and that I had taken my 5 "weekend working" blows on Sunday last instead.

So the stinging has not subsided as I sit here writing this and the blue area of my rear end will be even bigger over the next few days.


Sunday, 11 March 2018

That hurt a lot!

I can safely say that the spanking on Friday evening was the most painful yet, by far. M said afterwards that she gave me some extra hard blows because I had missed the social event on Thursday.

Today, she said about Friday, "it cannot have been too bad. You did not cry". 😕😕 I was screaming from the pain of the blows. She told me to be quieter. She had put a Schnuller (Baby dummy) in my mouth and tied a scarf tightly around my head to keep it in place. But seemingly I was still to loud.

I struggled a lot with the first set of blows and although she had tied me so I was largely immobile, I kept falling to one side.  I would struggle and she would help me back up straight again. After 16 blows, I lost all the fight in me and just lay to one side . I stopped struggling to get some control and just gave up. I was sobbing and whimpering (but M says that is not crying!). I just wanted it over.

M was happier at that stage and just kept beating on the same point. 14 more blows. She was determined to leave some marks that lasted most of the next week. I was mentally exhausted and sweating profusely when she stopped.

I looked today and my rear end has a few colours including red blue and purple. But at least the pain is gone.

She reminded me today that we have an important group activity in that social circle next Thursday. She said I will not survive the pain if I miss it again. I hope not to miss it. I am busy in work but I just have to get out Thursday!

I needed to do about 2.5 hour work yesterday to finish some stuff that is urgent in the office. So that meant another 5 blows. I asked M if I could have them this evening instead of next Friday, to clean the slate, so to speak. I am scared of building up too many hours, now that M has upped the punishment to 2 per hour "over" worked.

Thankfully she decided to attack the other cheek today. OMG the pain was again terrible. She knows how to use that wooden spoon. I HATE the thing, and fear it now to be honest. But at least I am back to zero again to start the work week.

I was busy this weekend. M had a number of things outside in the garden that she needed help with. Then I spent today fixing up an old bike she has that she wants to sell. We spent last night at a friends house and she enjoyed bossing me around more than usual. She knows I become more obedient and docile after a beating!


Friday, 9 March 2018

Consequences !!! Konsequenzen!!!

30 Schlaege mit dem Kochloeffel......30 blows with the wooden spoon

Vor  ...  Before

 Nach ...  After


Thursday, 8 March 2018

Late home again

My work life is a mess at the moment. I am working crazy hours, at full speed, just to stand still.

In November M enrolled us both for a social activity which we go to weekly on Thursday evenings. She always stresses that I be home in time. This week I didn't make it. In fact I was over an hour late. I had texted her and told her to go on alone.

I am not happy about it. I can imagine that she is even less happy. She is still there, not back home yet.

When I got home I cleared the laundry, made her breakfast for tomorrow, loaded the dishwasher and changed out of my work clothes (into my pyjamas as it is so late...a pale pink Winnie the Pooh pyjama that M bought for me). I want  to make her homecoming as pleasurable as possible in the circumstances. Afterwards I fixed myself something to eat.

Today also added 3,5 hours to my total of "over work". I am now at about 12 hours, or 24 whacks with the riding crop. I am truly scared of tomorrow. It will be painful. But I know the rules. I have never received that amount of punishment before. I wonder at what point I will break down into a whimpering mess.


Wednesday, 7 March 2018


M is a big believer in consequences. You will remember my resistance to wearing the sleeveless jacket. Well next week, the shop finally stocks a male sleeveless jacket and I have been ordered to buy it, from my own money.

So the only money I have access to is that which I earn based on the merit points I accumulate each week. I average maybe 2.5 points, which translates to €5 per week. I currently have about €80 credit. The jacket costs €13, so quit a chunk for me, almost 3 weeks earnings. I asked why I needed one, now that I have the light blue. She said  "Consequences"!. Whenever you misbehave or disappoint me, there will always be consequences.

Speaking of consequences, I am facing into some more, on Friday evening. I have been working many extra hours in the office  and at home on the work laptop. So M has decided to increase the punishment for each hour from one stroke of the riding crop to two. I am currently 9 hours over, and by Friday, it will be maybe 11. I also left the toilet seat up again yesterday and she is adding some more for that. I am already scared. She does not do "pretend" spanks. It is punishment and designed to modify behavior. It will hurt...a lot.

M just said that I can be very happy that I won't be sitting at the toilet seat coloring Christmas Cards!

I was home late tonight. After I had tidied up the evening meal and brought out some garbage, I asked if I could be excused from changing from my work clothes as it was already late. M simply said no. Consequences. She told me it was my problem I was home late and to go upstairs now and change. I must change into female clothing in the house. She says I am noticeably more sub when so dressed.

So consequences are a big part of M's approach to FLR. She is very German in that rules, one made, are set in stone and not to be ignored. Otherwise consequences. So I am sitting here typing this in a denim mini skirt and tights, naturally also wearing my blue sleeveless jacket over a t-shirt that says, The best is just to laugh!


Sunday, 4 March 2018

A spring in my step

What a joy to have warmer temperatures today. It was the first hint of Spring. I wonder if that was behind my compulsion to work and serve today. A touch of Spring cleaning fever perhaps.

In any event, M allowed me to get up at 6.25 a.m.  I was happy about that because I had work to do and did not want to be in a huge rush later.

I tackled the ironing first. In truth, it was not so much, perhaps 25 minutes in total. Then I cleaned out the fire. We have a wood burning stove. However , as I tossed a briquette in yesterday, a bit of plastic binding inadvertently followed it in and made a total mess of the glass front. So a 10 minute cleaning turned into a 40 minute struggle to scrape the plastic off. My own fault. I will be more careful in future.

 I then did one or two other jobs, like preparing M's Monday morning breakfast and placing it in the fridge. I also cleaned  three pairs of her shoes that stood in the hall. Eventually I heard M moving around upstairs, so I prepared breakfast. M's likes herbal tea, a boiled egg, a sliced pear and warm bread rolls with cheese.

As I cleared up after breakfast, M informed me that she did not feel too well and she had a slightly sore throat. So she went back to bed and slept a further 90 minutes.

I have brought my work PC home this weekend. I try to avoid doing this. However I am extremely busy at present and so I worked for two and a half hours after I had cleared up from the breakfast. That will translate into three further lashes of the riding crop next Friday evening. 😬

By the time M came back down, the sun had come out and that Spring feeling was in the air. M decided we would go cycling, so once I finished my work we got ready.  I needed to do a small repair to a wooden ceiling first and so it was almost 2p.m. before we set off. Everyone seemed to be out enjoying the weather. We cycled 32km with a stop along the way, at a still frozen lake.

M was cold  by the time we got home as the headwind we faced still had an edge. We have an infra red sauna and we use it a lot at this time of the year. M went straight in. I made her a coffee as a treat, with Baileys added!, and brought it to her. She was delighted (and so then was I too)

As I later finally sat down to surf, M said that she would love a crepe. So I made two crepes for each of us. It always makes a bit of a mess, but, as they say here in Germany, that's not M's beer (meaning it is not her problem).

So I finally got a chance to post this blog and download today's cycle from my Garmin. M has just informed me that we are going to bed early tonight, so I guess I won't have much surfing time after all. I still must clean the crepemaker once it cools back down.

I know it sound completely crazy to say it, but what a great day all round. In Germany, Sunday is "Ruhetag"...the quiet day. It was for M !😎😎


A fews days back :-)

You know that feeling. You have been in the office for 3 hours after holidays and you wonder were you away at all! Both M and I had it last ...